No jokes, that is literally me right now. Why? I honestly can’t say. Maybe I can, I dunno. But, I think you should go read ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ cause it makes me =D. Just skip the slightly bad parts. I’ll quote some of it later. But for now, some ideas sorta-kinda from it:
Happiness isn’t like weather, you gotta make yourself happy and keep working at it. Like love, but less dependant on someone else…kinda…Well, dependant on God, like love too, but God’s got his bit to work on that’s completely not up to you, so don’t touch it. You just work with what’s in the realm of agency (I think I misused that, oh well!)
Ok, honestly, I have loads more to post about it, but it’s like 12:30 and I’m tired from being so happybouncyjoyjoy for the last 2 hours (its exhausting to do this when you’ve been a borderline depressed emo for the past 2 weeks). But I’ve realized something; spiritually, I’m a ‘gimantic’ (talk to my niece) abstract painting. With one big lovely blob on colors in the middle and a whole ton of things attached that normally wouldn’t fit with big blob but they do. If you didn’t get the metaphor: I keep finding bits and pieces of belief systems I like, somehow being able to fit them with my central beliefs and mushing it all together. It’s big, messy, confusing, indescribable, undefendable, yet I think it’s beautiful and I love it. It shouldn’t work but for me, it does. =D
Live long & Prosper!!