My adventure in becoming a [Good] Mormon

So, I have a habit of, after initially praying, climbing into bed then realizing I have lots more to talk about. I’m pretty sure I’m mildly incoherent when that far asleep, but on occasion, I’ll think of something and scribble it in my journal…In the dark. Very amusing to try to read, but here is what I wrote last night at probably 1AM or so LOL.

‘Where is the point I should stop trying so hard on my own and trying instead to trust God as much as I can?’

Thinking on this in a more coherent state…I’m still confused. Is there any separation between trying your hardest and trusting in God? Does one give it their best shot then trust in God for the outcome that is best? Or, by trying your hardest, are you not placing the fullest amount of trust in Him that you could? You can’t exactly not try and trust that everything will happen, can you? Like something I read once said ‘You can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.’

I am consistently seeking happy mediums it seems. I tend to not be extreme in any case, or try very hard not to be LOL.

Oh my gosh, I am addicted to cheese and chicken lunch meat LOL. Just plain, or together, nothing else.

Maybe another alien got me pregnant XD

Ok, chicken and cheese craving satisfied. I’ve discovered a problem:

There are so many things I want to fix within myself, but I have 1)no clue where to begin and 2)mostly no clue as to how I fix it.

Yeah, I know I know, pray about it. But see the issue brought up above.

Ok, more thoughts (or procrastination of chem :P)

I’ve discovered a few more things: 1)I love to tell people random things about myself. That’s why I like those quizzes. 2) I love to learn anything and everything about people. Even if I don’t know them (and all the more if i do know them). I find people fascinating. I guess you could say I’m nosy, but it’s not so I can compare myself to them or anything, I just like hearing people’s life stories and little things about them.

I still plan to find an old person in the mall one day, ask if I can eat with them and ask them to tell me their life story. I think that would be awesome.

My neighbour-kids are over playing xbox. They’re very funny to listen to, they’re so serious about Halo. But something troubles me. They’re what…8? one of them already has COD: Black Ops. This makes me wonder: How many parents actually know what games their children are playing?

Granted, I’m not so great. i’m endorsing their Halo playing. But I will argue: halo is totally fictional. Yes, there is a bit of blood. But it’s blue/green. Yeah, you shoot guns and kill. But the guns, quite often, are alien/futuristic and you’re only killing aliens. COD on the other hand, I oppose. Soldiers who have played it say it is so exceptionally close to actual war that it’s scary. I will say that when I’ve played it, I’ve actually ended up feeling mildly sick afterwards. I think that was cause I did the mission where you’re a spy in a terrorist cell and you kill innocent civilians. I can never handle that. I find it too gory also (ESPECIALLY WHEN THE GUYS YOU SHOOT LAY ON THE GROUND GROANING IN PAIN AS THEY DIE SLOWLY!!!).

I play games for fiction, for a story line that I can’t find in the real world. If I want to experience today’s wars, I’d join the army.

Back to the original topic. How many parents actually  know what goes on in the games? And why do they ignore ratings? You are forced to acknowledge the rating if you try to take an 8 year old to an 18A movie. I know stores try to enforce it the same. But I’ve seen parents go in there with their kids, who pick out the game and the parent buys it without question. Ex: GTA: San Andreas. I was in line when a dad was buying it for his son. The conversation went as such:

Cashier: I can’t sell this to your son, it’s rated M

Dad: I’m buying it.

C:He picked it out, it’s obviously for him

D: I’m buying it for myself.

C: Do you know what’s in this game?!

D: of course. You can drive stolen cars around

C: I’m sorry sir, but that isn’t all. Were you aware you can have sex with a prostitute then beat her to death?

D: He doesn’t even know what sex is and he would never do that. I want to speak to your manager now please.

In the end, the kid got the game. But that’s my point. The dad had no idea. And, if you’re like innocent Cass in GTA, You think the lady just wants a ride to a quiet place cause she’s running away or something (true story. That was terrifying).  If anything, I am a great example of kids walking into situations like that in games. Like Fable. I had no clue what an icon did then BAM! I’m married. Granted, I had full knowledge of the action I took to ‘divorce’ him XD. And that’s a bit more of an innocent mistake than some of the things you can do, but I think you get my point.

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Comments on: "Most intriguing…" (4)

  1. Bruce said:

    As to your question about ‘trying hard’.

    Scripture (Bible) says: do everything as though you were doing it for Christ Himself (paraphrase) so the answer is — we find out what God would have us do .. and then we do it with all our might. Remember, its a relationship, not a religion, so the doing is not for brownie points … but because we have a drive to do what we know pleases the other in the relationship … in this case Christ.

    If you don’t know what God wants you to do … then James would say … pray until you know His will, then pray for that to come about.

    • Thanks Bruce :).

      I’m still working on the relationship idea. I know that’s what it is and I’ve known that from the start, but I’m having a bit of an issue trying to build a relationship with a being that I can’t physically reach out and touch.

      • It is not easy at times …. but at other times it is the most real of all relationships. It is most evident when you are alone, contemplative, and in the midst of a storm.

        Even in-the-flesh relationships are more often elusive than not …. I mean in terms of being a true honest relationship where the other person dosen’t pass things through their own twisted filters. We are all such flawed creatures and have so much baggage … it is very hard to have a real honest relationship — but we do what we can.

        It will come … it just takes a lifetime.

    • The other part was the trust part … trust in this case amounts to faith. There are several kinds of faith. The first is saving faith — and that is a gift from God. The second is the faith we exercise after that to live day by day. That faith is hard earned through experience, and God makes us earn ii by requiring us to step out first. When the Israelites crossed over Jordan – the river was in flood stage … and yet the priests carrying the Arc of the Covenant marched into the stream — and only then did the water divide and they crossed on dry land. Imagine what the priests were thinking as they walked closer and closer to the raging stream?

      Or imagine David … King of Israel meeting with his generals and saying … “yah know, I know that what you are suggesting might make the most sence, but this is what God told me to do” — he’d be in an asylum today methinks.

      Find His will (not as hard as you might think) and then “Go Boldly ….” into the fray.

      Faith builds through this process as we learn more and more to trust.

      Also of note : prophets like Ezekiel had a few moments of hard duty to perform, but most of their lives were just makin’ it through the day.

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