So, I have a habit of, after initially praying, climbing into bed then realizing I have lots more to talk about. I’m pretty sure I’m mildly incoherent when that far asleep, but on occasion, I’ll think of something and scribble it in my journal…In the dark. Very amusing to try to read, but here is what I wrote last night at probably 1AM or so LOL.
‘Where is the point I should stop trying so hard on my own and trying instead to trust God as much as I can?’
Thinking on this in a more coherent state…I’m still confused. Is there any separation between trying your hardest and trusting in God? Does one give it their best shot then trust in God for the outcome that is best? Or, by trying your hardest, are you not placing the fullest amount of trust in Him that you could? You can’t exactly not try and trust that everything will happen, can you? Like something I read once said ‘You can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.’
I am consistently seeking happy mediums it seems. I tend to not be extreme in any case, or try very hard not to be LOL.
Oh my gosh, I am addicted to cheese and chicken lunch meat LOL. Just plain, or together, nothing else.
Maybe another alien got me pregnant XD
Ok, chicken and cheese craving satisfied. I’ve discovered a problem:
There are so many things I want to fix within myself, but I have 1)no clue where to begin and 2)mostly no clue as to how I fix it.
Yeah, I know I know, pray about it. But see the issue brought up above.
Ok, more thoughts (or procrastination of chem :P)
I’ve discovered a few more things: 1)I love to tell people random things about myself. That’s why I like those quizzes. 2) I love to learn anything and everything about people. Even if I don’t know them (and all the more if i do know them). I find people fascinating. I guess you could say I’m nosy, but it’s not so I can compare myself to them or anything, I just like hearing people’s life stories and little things about them.
I still plan to find an old person in the mall one day, ask if I can eat with them and ask them to tell me their life story. I think that would be awesome.
My neighbour-kids are over playing xbox. They’re very funny to listen to, they’re so serious about Halo. But something troubles me. They’re what…8? one of them already has COD: Black Ops. This makes me wonder: How many parents actually know what games their children are playing?
Granted, I’m not so great. i’m endorsing their Halo playing. But I will argue: halo is totally fictional. Yes, there is a bit of blood. But it’s blue/green. Yeah, you shoot guns and kill. But the guns, quite often, are alien/futuristic and you’re only killing aliens. COD on the other hand, I oppose. Soldiers who have played it say it is so exceptionally close to actual war that it’s scary. I will say that when I’ve played it, I’ve actually ended up feeling mildly sick afterwards. I think that was cause I did the mission where you’re a spy in a terrorist cell and you kill innocent civilians. I can never handle that. I find it too gory also (ESPECIALLY WHEN THE GUYS YOU SHOOT LAY ON THE GROUND GROANING IN PAIN AS THEY DIE SLOWLY!!!).
I play games for fiction, for a story line that I can’t find in the real world. If I want to experience today’s wars, I’d join the army.
Back to the original topic. How many parents actually know what goes on in the games? And why do they ignore ratings? You are forced to acknowledge the rating if you try to take an 8 year old to an 18A movie. I know stores try to enforce it the same. But I’ve seen parents go in there with their kids, who pick out the game and the parent buys it without question. Ex: GTA: San Andreas. I was in line when a dad was buying it for his son. The conversation went as such:
Cashier: I can’t sell this to your son, it’s rated M
Dad: I’m buying it.
C:He picked it out, it’s obviously for him
D: I’m buying it for myself.
C: Do you know what’s in this game?!
D: of course. You can drive stolen cars around
C: I’m sorry sir, but that isn’t all. Were you aware you can have sex with a prostitute then beat her to death?
D: He doesn’t even know what sex is and he would never do that. I want to speak to your manager now please.
In the end, the kid got the game. But that’s my point. The dad had no idea. And, if you’re like innocent Cass in GTA, You think the lady just wants a ride to a quiet place cause she’s running away or something (true story. That was terrifying). If anything, I am a great example of kids walking into situations like that in games. Like Fable. I had no clue what an icon did then BAM! I’m married. Granted, I had full knowledge of the action I took to ‘divorce’ him XD. And that’s a bit more of an innocent mistake than some of the things you can do, but I think you get my point.