My adventure in becoming a [Good] Mormon

I’ve decided I want to find someone and have something like all that stuff in those novels about revolutions.

Let me elaborate: Those couples in those fiction tales about revolutions that are running from the law, or they’re defying something yet they’re always together. They never leave one another, for anything.  That’s like…Uh…Bonnie & Clyde isn’t it? Something I never bothered to look up. Too far before me.

Yeah, I’m not gonna start a revolution. Maybe I am, it seems I’m inherently defiant on a few things. That’s beside the point, but I want to find someone who, for example, when walking in a grocery store, we bump something over, then run away pretending we didn’t do it, holding hands and giggling like little kids. That’s just an image I have in my head.

Or we’ll have light saber battles in toys r’ us and get kicked out.

This ideal person has to be willing to jump in puddles with me on our wedding night.

Yeah, I want to get married during a Summer thunderstorm. You aren’t going to know the date of my wedding until the weatherman predicts it.

I want them to spontaneously kiss me when we have arguments and tell me I should just hush up and stop being so stubborn.

And the ever present requirement: They have to come star gazing with me.

Super nintendo matches are a must.

We are the best coop team Halo has ever seen.

They gotta let me drag them out on hikes. They don’t have to like it, they just gotta come with. And climb things. And hike off the trail. And protect me from bears. And stand on cliffs and scream till our throats hurt.

Be the giver of really good hugs. What is the definition of a good hug? When I am grumpy, you give me one. When I get frustrated and try to squirm away, you don’t let me. No tickling and please only squash me on occasion, not every time.

Naturally good smelling. I’ve found a few people like that. Not saying who, they’ll think I’m creepy. There is no way to tell this except just let me sniff you. Most people smell good naturally though, I’ve found.

Riding roller coasters a million times is normal. Or any ride.

You are never too old for the strawberries, teacups or carousel.

Hold my hand on the drop of doom. I am actually quite scared of it.

Dance, even though you probably feel like a fool, I do too. It’s ok, it’s cute.

I’ve decided I have few to no physical requirements. I don’t want to be judged on that, so I won’t judge you by that.

I’m too Mormon for my own good. I just bit a chocolate, tasted rum, screamed ‘BLASPHEMY!!!’ and spat it out. Twas funny. Waste of chocolate though.

This was the product of staring at a wall listening to ‘Rainy day’ by Coldplay.


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