My adventure in becoming a [Good] Mormon

An explanation

Hopefully, the person whom this is intended for will realize it’s for them. If not, it’s out anyways.

You asked me to tell you what I was talking about during my spare with a friend when I said I almost made her cry. It’s not that it was a big secret or anything and I’m sorry for not telling you the full story. But just know that the cheeriful Cass you see is more often than not, not cheeriful Cass when not at school or Church.

Sometimes I can’t tell you what’s really going on. It kills me to hide anything from you, because the honesty between us in everything else means so much to me. And I hate myself for not being honest with you about this, not that it technically affects you really, but I guess it does because you, like myself, don’t like secrets kept from you. But you don’t need to worry if it’s gossips about you or anything like that 😛

But I don’t tell you about all that goes on when I’m not with you because I’m afraid you won’t understand. You’ve (as far as I know) never gone through anything near this. And I can be pretty certain of that because when I once expressed my idea for a solution, you told me that would be running away. But is it really running away when you’ve tried every solution within your grasp, nothing works and you’re just in harm’s way by staying put and not acting?

Also, because when I’m with you, I can pretend everything is ok. You give my life a sense of normality when you’re around and you help take my mind off of the underlying things that I know I’ll have to face when I go home. And, while most often, I like the fact that you ask me if I’m ok, or upset (which is rarely anyways :P) about things, I don’t want you to do that where all this is concerned, because of what I just said about normality.  Just know, I am lucky to have more than enough people worrying about me, you just keep doing what you’re doing ;).

You do a lot for me that you don’t really know you’re doing…Well, I think you don’t know anyways. You help me feel better about everything and you brighten my day. You’ve shown and told me of how a family is supposed to be. Granted, it makes me sad to know mine is such a glaring opposite to that example, but my future family will be much better, thanks to your example.

And sometimes, for unexplainable reasons (ok, probably explainable reasons, you know what I mean), there are things I just can’t say to most people. I don’t know why, but there are only a few people I can talk seriously about this stuff too (ie. two people). It’s not that I don’t trust you, heck I pretty much trusted you with my katra (it’s Vulcan, go google it :P) metaphorically speaking…Or not XD…Which you almost dropped and drowned XD…JK!!! Anyways, though, I do trust you, very much, and if the words didn’t get stuck in my throat or fly out of my head, I would tell you, directly and face to face, instead of beating around the bush here.

Thank you for just being there when I need someone to smile and joke with bestie, I loveyoulongtime.

I assume the desired reader has read this and if not, a poke and reminder will be coming along shortly ;).



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