My adventure in becoming a [Good] Mormon

Posts tagged ‘scriptures’

The Future Soon

Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you. Sometimes it’s just enough to know they’re standing by.
-Elizabeth Foley

The fact that the end of the beginning is so quickly approaching is both extraordinarily terrifying and exciting for me. I don’t want to leave and yet, there’s so many new and unknown things looming on the horizon that I am thrilled to be so close to experiencing them. However, all this is tinged with the bitter-sweetness of the possibility of loss and growth beyond what may be lost.

Not only is the loss just the idea of being outside my comfort zone in a completely foreign stage of my life and losing this stability, but it’s drifting away from all those I depend on. And not only is it that, but I will soon have to leave something I’m just getting to know; my Young Women’s group.  Which actually, really upsets me. Sometimes, I forget I’m actually 17 and when my eighteenth rolls around, as far as I understand, I’ll be released from being YW’s president.  And every time I think of this, it kind of gets me angry, and I ask myself, as one of my YW asks ‘Why didn’t you join sooner?’. And I know, you’re not supposed to beat yourself up over the past, but seriously, my excuses were extraordinarily lame.

They’ll judge me

I’ll be a loner and have no friends

I’ll offend everyone and they’ll be angry with me

I don’t want to wear skirts and act like a stereotypical woman and spend 3 hours crammed in a Church

I don’t want to talk about God

I don’t know what to do or how to act or anything

And it’s actually completely the opposite.

They’ve never judged me.

I have more friends than I could ask for.

I’ve only offended the missionaries and they handle that easily.

I love wearing skirts and I can still kick butt at Halo and learn to knit in the same day.

3 hours isn’t enough Church.

In the right situation it’s hard to get me to stop talking about God.

When in doubt; flail. Someone will eventually grab your hand and pull you up. (Usually my bestie does this well enough when I have no idea what’s going on XD)

And so, when I turn 18, I am going to have to flail exceptionally hard, because that’s going to bring in a whole different dimension to what I know in the Church and, at this point, I’m not sure if anyone will pull me up, because everyone is going on now.

Anyways, un-Church related future-stress:  I didn’t tell my friends this, but the reason I keep falling asleep in classes is because I’ve lost so much sleep from nightmares that I’ve been having for 2-3 weeks now. These nightmares mainly focus on losing/drifting away from my friends in various ways and that scares the bejebus out of me.

My main problem is, I suck at socializing. Sure, I will happily go up to someone I don’t know and start talking…If my friends are close by. If I’m on my own…Sorry, I’ve got no idea how to talk to anyone. Especially outside the Church. It’s easy to talk to people in the Church, because we all have at least one thing in common. But outside, I don’t know how to find common interests. Last time I tried that, they all walked off and then no one in that organization would talk to me because I was automatically deemed a loser.

Anyways, I tried to multitask and lost my train of thought, but it was a post by a friend that inspired it.

“But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt. When that day comes,” says the Lord, “you will call me ‘my husband’ instead of ‘my master.’ O Israel, I will wipe the many names of Baal from your lips, and you will never mention them again. On that day I will make a covenant with all the wild animals and the birds of the sky and the animals that scurry along the ground so they will not harm you. I will remove all weapons of war from the land, all swords and bows, so you can live unafraid in peace and safety. I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord.” – Hosea 2:14 -20

(Yes, it’s plain English. Copied from a friend’s FB, if you have an issue, go find it in your KJV and read from there)

The Ultimate Hopeless-Romantic reading

The Song of Solomon. It’s beautiful. It possibly just outranked Psalms as my favoutite Bible book.

I wish it told who the writers were though. That always intrigues me.

This is my beloved and I am His

” He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Isreal. The LORD is merciful and gracious; he is slow to get angry and full of unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He has not punished us for all our sins, nor does he deal with us as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our rebellious acts as far away from us as the east is from the west.” –  Psalm 103:7-12

Jesus, You’ve done all this for me. You know when I stumble, but you also know my heart better than anyone. You have peered into the very depths of my soul. You have seen my worth and have accepted me dispite my faults.  You want the best for me and that is for me to surrender and die to myself and live in You. You expect me to fall, but are always there to catch me.  I cannot keep beating myself up when I sin and feel shame. For that is not of you. I must stop believing in the lies that tell me that I am not even worthy to talk to You. For you have said in Your word,  “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,  made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” – Ephesians 2:4-5

 

Just like Adam and Eve. They sinned by disobeying God and when they did it says in Genesis 3:7  “At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness.” There are consequences when we sin, but God still remains merciful. “And the LORD God made clothing from animals skins for Adam and his wife.” – Genesis 3:21

 

 

Even though Adam and Eve sinned, God still made them clothes to hide their shame. To get rid of it.  (Got sent this verse from a very special friend this morning and she mentioned to me about that. So Thank You My Dear) And it got me thinking. When I sin and feel shame, I shouldn’t because God has already given me clothing. The blood of the Lamb has covered my sin.

 

For God delights in me and I can picture Him saying this to me. “O my beloved, you are as beautiful as the lovely town of Tirzah. Yes, as beautiful as Jerusalem! You are as majestic as an army with Banners! Look away, for your eyes overcome me!” – Song of Songs 6:4 – 5

This is my Beloved and I am His

Taken from a friend’s facebook ^^

“We don’t know all the reasons for Lucifer’s terrible success in inciting that rebellion. However, one reason is clear. Those who lost the blessing of coming into mortality lacked sufficient trust in God to avoid eternal misery.”

http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/trust-in-god-then-go-and-do?lang=eng

The little bold bit just made me happy. The fact that I’m here proves that I once completely trusted God with everything. Gotta get back there now.

“I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

“Be still, and know that I am God”

Isaiah 43:10-12

‎”…And you are my servant. You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God; there never has been and never will be. I am the LORD, and there is no other Savior. First, I predicted your deliverance, I declared what I would do, and then I did it – I saved you…”

Alma 33:11 and 37:6-7

11 “And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my asincerity; and it is because of thy Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine bafflictions, for in thee is my joy; for thou hast turned thy judgments away from me, cbecause of thy Son.”

“Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.”

Thoughts on spiritual vulnerability

Generally, these are the type of posts where a)I feel completely random and have thoughts moshing about in my brain or b)I have the desire to emulate Leonard Cohen or Yoda in an odd way. I have posted 3 posts such as this but I deleted them all because this is the type of oddity that fills my journal and I feel it makes me almost as vulnerable as expressing what I am actually thinking in Church/Seminary/While reading scriptures, etc.

Let’s start there: vulnerability for me is actually a very odd-in-my-view but most-likely-normal-to-the-masses topic. I like to think that that I have, over the years, gone from the sensitive little Cass I was in elementary to a figurative Helm’s Deep. However, I’ve found the place where the orcs can stick the gunpowder: my spiritual ideas/thoughts. I was thinking about this during Seminary. I don’t like to openly say what I believe or my ideas on a topic within my religion. In fact, I’m slightly scared of it. Mainly because I’m worried someone will say something against what I think, I’ll feel stupid and I’ll begin to slowly lose my faith. This has happened with other things before but the ironic part is, I know it’ll never happen where my religion is concerned. Yet I’m still scared.

I guess it’s like bungee jumping in a way.

I’ll elaborate; the rope…Or in this case, my faith, will keep me safe. But it’s still terrifying. But add some crocodiles (AKA people who will shoot holes through some things, or at least try to) and now I really don’t want to jump.

We already know I don’t like to share my testimony, but apparently, according to ‘Preach my Gospel’ and some scripture from Doctrine & Covenants, I’m being selfish. Which, with further thinking, I have to say I agree with. Hearing testimonies is one of the many things that 1)helps build my faith and 2) provokes my thinking on topics. The idea of helping others do this is wonderful…But I am a selfish Cass and scared to share.

My mom is now listening to an asian TV station, very amusing.

I want bubble tea.

I found this great D&C scripture today that’s related to this…Hang on…

Haha, that’s really ironic. I found this scripture before I had the question, then had the question and re-stumbled upon it when I needed it :D.

Oh my gosh, facebook ads reading my mind=happy Cass. http://www.livingscriptures.com/

Anyways: 11:21 “Seek not to adeclare my word, but first seek to bobtain my cword, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my dSpirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the econvincing of men.”

Which, for an impatient Cass, is a relatively annoying, but good answer nonetheless. I want to speak now. But I don’t know what to say, or how to, or if I’m right doctrine-wise. And what if I’m up at the pulpit then I say I believe something, thinking it’s doctrine, but my interpretation was skewed and then BAM! The Bishop tackles me or uses an ex-communication ray on me or something because I’m believing false doctrine.

Yes, that’s illogical to think, but I’m still scared of it.

Here’s another good bit, same chapter, verses 15-17:

“Behold, I command you that you need not suppose that you are acalled to bpreach cuntil you are called.

Wait a little longer, until you shall have my word, my arock, my bchurch, and my gospel, that you may know of a surety my doctrine

And then, behold, according to your desires, yea, even according to your afaith shall it be done unto you.”

So I dunno. I’m sure I’ll get to a point where I can speak openly and be sure of what I’m saying. But I’m just impatient :P.

Now I really need to go to bed.

Live long & Prosper!!♥

Edit:Cute quote again: I love you from the bottom of my butt, because it’s bigger than my heart!