This is for someone in particular, because they were curious, but I’m a toad. I have issues still sharing my personal beliefs on an individual basis, I’ll get over it eventually. But I guess it’s for everyone else too.
Anyways, if you haven’t yet, go read ‘Sex God’ by Rob Bell. I know, sounds much worse than it actually is though. It’s more so about love and relationships and how you can find and learn about God through them, no matter what.
I think it was…yesterday. Absolutely crap day. Not only am I being a regular swirling tornado of emotions, with the end of the year fast approaching I’m freaking out. As well, I’m being a total girl and joining in with the angst of ‘Do not have boyfriend *whine whine whine*’ and some of my friends right now make me upset…Mainly cause I overthink, but meh.
Anywho, I had extra time, so I sat down to read. The chapter was called ‘She ran into the girl’s bathroom’ and was about how, by confronting people, you give them an awful big choice; ‘yes or no’. Basically, expressing your love in any form to others is the ultimate…I want to say ‘humbling experience’. Because you give them all the power. If they say yes and accept your love, however it may be, they have to leave all that they know and trust to try something completely unknown. Then Bell goes onto say something along the lines of ‘Why is heartbreak universal? Because it’s something God feels’ and that when we were created, we were given the freedom of choice to love who we please. God loves us, but he is the one giving the invitation out, whether or not we say yes and accept it is up to us. And when we reject it, he knows heartache and pain too…And maybe he too stays up at night pondering how to convince us to love him back like he loves us. So he, like every one who’s ever loved, breaks out all manner of resourcefulness in His power (which would b a lot 😉 ). His problem however, is that He’s so great…He scares us…So he distills his love into one somewhat smaller being; Jesus.
So Jesus’ entire life is about love, not power, so he doesn’t appear intimidating, like God. Even though he is greater than all of us, he acts like one of the lowly citizens, to demonstrate His love. He never does anything to fight back, or exert power. He is always calm, forgiving and loving.
This is my favourite part: Jesus demonstrated strength by appearing weak. Strength is not the ability to one-up someone or beat them, it’s in the restraint of that natural response to exert the power we have. Jesus was the ultimate example. He could have wiped all those who mocked and tortured him from the face of the Earth, but He didn’t. Why? Because he was the one extending the invitation of love and everyone else were the ones with the power to reject of accept it. And instead of exerting his power to make them love and fear him, He just kept taking it, hoping they’d finally say yes.
“If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels.”
“…Where we find the strength to go on. Not a strength that comes from within ourselves but a strength that comes from God. The God who keeps going. Who keeps offering. Who keeps loving. Who keeps risking. A God who knows what it’s like.”
“If God can continue to risk, then maybe we can too. Perhaps you have had your heart broken by somebody. You risked and extended and offered yourself, and they rejected and turned away and didn’t return your love. There is something divine in your suffering. Somebody divine in your pain. You know how God feels…The danger is that you will decide it isn’t worth it. Why risk it if it’s going to hurt like this? The tragedy would be for you to shut down, to allow a wall to be built around your heart, and for something within you to die.”
I always hear ‘God is love’…This just gave it a ton of more meaning. And it made all my fears of losing friends after grad kind of dissipate.
All I can do is love them all as fiercely as I do. If they return that love and friendship; wonderful. It will make everything beautiful. If they don’t ; all I need to do is keep loving them, maybe one day they’ll come back. But if not, I know that I loved them as I should.
There is always that drive, that ‘stay-up-late-into-the-night-plotting’, trying to convince them to not only accept your love, but return it. The ‘what can I do to make you love me?’ The answer is nothing. Because by giving love, you give up all power to sway their opinion, you give all power to them. You are vulnerable, but restraining that desire to force their love is the greatest strength. And even though stuff like this may be world-shatteringly difficult, God knows all about it.
I hope this made up for my lack of posts….Nighty night dearies <3.