My adventure in becoming a [Good] Mormon

Listening to some speaker named Hank on the drive to the Temple and he posed this question. Which made me think the rest of the ride.

Trusting God with everything is a big issue for me. And I kinda re-evaluated this during the trip, especially when I got home.

And I realized;  no matter what, you really need to trust Him. Even though it may seem like the worst choice, if He says it’s gotta be that way, then it does. His will is always right and will bring about the best.

Lately, it seems emotional issues are attacking me from every direction. And just when I think it’s ok, I get only a few hours before the next wave hits.

So I guess that’s why I found myself face-down on my floor. Which can be quite comfy actually, but that’s beside the point. And then, ‘Hank’ ‘s words came back to me.

Do I believe Him?

Hank said something else. God wants to make our hopes and dreams come true, but if we don’t believe Him, how can He?

So God wants me to be happy. And if I want to be that way, I gotta let  God lead me there and I gotta believe that He’s leading me there.

I guess my floor may have my face imprinted on it soon, because I’ve come to realize;  a LOT of big decisions need to be made and soon.

And I’ve gotta believe that God wants that for me too and will make it happen.

Here’s to hoping I can learn fast.

from http://sicklethruster.blogspot.com/2010/05/love-is-answer.html

Love is the Answer

Dear Missionaries,

I don’t always know what the question is. But I do know the answer. The answer is: LOVE.

The scriptures teach that God is love: “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love,” (1 John 4:8). “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him,” (1 John 4:16).

If God is love, then love is an enabling power available to all of God’s children. It is a force for good. In fact, it is the force and source of the greatest good.

When we are filled with the love of God, everything changes. We see life differently. We respond to challenges in a new way. Our outlook on life changes. We change our minds about life! We transform! (See Romans 12:2.)

Joseph Smith taught: “A man filled with the love of God is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race.

Love is the fuel by which those who come unto Christ live their lives. For this to be true, it must work in the best of times and the worst of times. Let me explain by telling you about World War II and an amazing man named Victor Frankl.

Some of your grandparents or great-grandparents fought in this war. It was a global military conflict lasting from 1939 to 1945 and involved most of the world’s nations, including all of the great powers. It was organized into two opposing military alliances: the Allies (the good guys, including America and England) and the Axis (the bad guys, including Nazi Germany and Japan). It was the most widespread war in history, with more than 100 million military personnel mobilized.

Marked by significant action against civilians, including the Holocaust and the only use of nuclear weapons in a war, it was the deadliest conflict in human history, with over 70 million deaths.

The Holocaust is the term used to describe the intentional murder of approximately six million European Jews during World War II by Nazi Germany. Jews were forced into concentration camps where they were tortured and then murdered. Only a few Jews survived the concentration camps. One of them was Victor Frankl.

Viktor Frankl (1905-1997) was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist. In 1942, at age 37, the Germans deported him, his wife, and his parents to the Theresienstadt concentration camp. In 1944, he was moved to Auschwitz concentration camp and was then to the Türkheim concentration camp. Meanwhile, his wife had been transferred to the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp where she was murdered, and his parents had been sent to Auschwitz where they were murdered.

On April 27, 1945, American soldiers took control of Auschwitz and liberated Frankl. To be liberated is to be set free. At last he was free!

Victor Frankl was blessed with a mind capable of learning important lessons even in the darkest of times. He found purpose and meaning in the worst of all situations. Read his account of an experience he had while working in the harsh conditions of the Auschwitz concentration camp:

“… We stumbled on in the darkness, over big stones and through large puddles, along the one road leading from the camp. The accompanying guards kept shouting at us and driving us with the butts of their rifles. Anyone with very sore feet supported himself on his neighbor’s arm. Hardly a word was spoken; the icy wind did not encourage talk. Hiding his mouth behind his upturned collar, the man marching next to me whispered suddenly: “If our wives could see us now! I do hope they are better off in their camps and don’t know what is happening to us.”

That brought thoughts of my own wife to mind. And as we stumbled on for miles, slipping on icy spots, supporting each other time and again, dragging one another up and onward, nothing was said, but we both knew: each of us was thinking of his wife. Occasionally I looked at the sky, where the stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind a dark bank of clouds. But my mind clung to my wife’s image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.

A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth — that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way – an honorable way – in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, “The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory….

The above quotation comes from Victor Frankl’s famous book, Man’s Search for Meaning. I encourage you to read this book when you get home from your mission.

In one of the darkest period’s of human history, with a front row seat, Frankl discovered something great: “love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire.”

In a speech given at BYU in January 1996, Professor C. Terry Warner connects Victor Frankl’s observations about love with the core message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Professor Warner teaches how we can each turn love into a power for good:

The Savior seems to say to us: “Come unto me, and I will give you such assurance and hope and strength that you cannot be taken hostage by anyone who seems to do you harm. I will liberate you into love. And then you will no longer give anyone cause to resent or fear you. Instead, they will respond to the love that I have bestowed upon you. By abiding in me, you will do much good, bear much fruit.”

How then shall we come unto Christ so that everything will be different from what it could possibly be otherwise?

By sacrificing all taking of offense. By giving up criticism, impatience, and contempt, for they accuse the sisters and brothers for whom Christ died. By forswearing vulgarity and pornography, which diminish both the user and the used. By putting aside, in short, every practice that bears the image of murder, obliteration of souls, discord, and death. By giving these practices their true name, violence, and abhorring even their first appearance. By renouncing war in every form and proclaiming peace (see D&C 98:16).”

As a missionary, you are far away from the comforts of home. But you can find a new home in the arms of God as you come unto Christ in your life! You can feel of His love for you. You can gain literal strength and power through this love, as did missionaries of long ago: “blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land,” (Alma 26:36).

So many people are “running on empty”. They are empty of love. It is our job, our responsibility and our privilege to help fill them with love. Life’s most important questions all have the same answer: LOVE.

Powered by love,

Pres. Murray

 

:D

I got assigned a talk on gratitude!!! 😀

I love being able to give a talk. It may terrify me, but I love it.

FUYFHGCFTYUHBHV

I GOT MY FIRST PERSONAL PROGRESS RIBBON!!! CHHHHYEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!! GOOD WORKS FTW!!!

….The top re-director for my views (which hit a new record of 70 yesterday): Either a gay-porn site or a domain name generator ( I googled it, didn’t go directly to the site ;D)

What the hey!?

Anyway….

I read this fantastic blog written by a mission President and his wife for their missionaries called ‘Sickle Thruster’.

Love is the Answer

Dear Missionaries,

I don’t always know what the question is. But I do know the answer. The answer is: LOVE.

The scriptures teach that God is love: “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love,” (1 John 4:8). “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him,” (1 John 4:16).

If God is love, then love is an enabling power available to all of God’s children. It is a force for good. In fact, it is the force and source of the greatest good.

When we are filled with the love of God, everything changes. We see life differently. We respond to challenges in a new way. Our outlook on life changes. We change our minds about life! We transform! (See Romans 12:2.)

Joseph Smith taught: “A man filled with the love of God is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race.

Love is the fuel by which those who come unto Christ live their lives. For this to be true, it must work in the best of times and the worst of times. Let me explain by telling you about World War II and an amazing man named Victor Frankl.

Some of your grandparents or great-grandparents fought in this war. It was a global military conflict lasting from 1939 to 1945 and involved most of the world’s nations, including all of the great powers. It was organized into two opposing military alliances: the Allies (the good guys, including America and England) and the Axis (the bad guys, including Nazi Germany and Japan). It was the most widespread war in history, with more than 100 million military personnel mobilized.

Marked by significant action against civilians, including the Holocaust and the only use of nuclear weapons in a war, it was the deadliest conflict in human history, with over 70 million deaths.

The Holocaust is the term used to describe the intentional murder of approximately six million European Jews during World War II by Nazi Germany. Jews were forced into concentration camps where they were tortured and then murdered. Only a few Jews survived the concentration camps. One of them was Victor Frankl.

Viktor Frankl (1905-1997) was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist. In 1942, at age 37, the Germans deported him, his wife, and his parents to the Theresienstadt concentration camp. In 1944, he was moved to Auschwitz concentration camp and was then to the Türkheim concentration camp. Meanwhile, his wife had been transferred to the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp where she was murdered, and his parents had been sent to Auschwitz where they were murdered.

On April 27, 1945, American soldiers took control of Auschwitz and liberated Frankl. To be liberated is to be set free. At last he was free!

Victor Frankl was blessed with a mind capable of learning important lessons even in the darkest of times. He found purpose and meaning in the worst of all situations. Read his account of an experience he had while working in the harsh conditions of the Auschwitz concentration camp:

“… We stumbled on in the darkness, over big stones and through large puddles, along the one road leading from the camp. The accompanying guards kept shouting at us and driving us with the butts of their rifles. Anyone with very sore feet supported himself on his neighbor’s arm. Hardly a word was spoken; the icy wind did not encourage talk. Hiding his mouth behind his upturned collar, the man marching next to me whispered suddenly: “If our wives could see us now! I do hope they are better off in their camps and don’t know what is happening to us.”

That brought thoughts of my own wife to mind. And as we stumbled on for miles, slipping on icy spots, supporting each other time and again, dragging one another up and onward, nothing was said, but we both knew: each of us was thinking of his wife. Occasionally I looked at the sky, where the stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind a dark bank of clouds. But my mind clung to my wife’s image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.

A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth — that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way – an honorable way – in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, “The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory….

The above quotation comes from Victor Frankl’s famous book, Man’s Search for Meaning. I encourage you to read this book when you get home from your mission.

In one of the darkest period’s of human history, with a front row seat, Frankl discovered something great: “love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire.”

In a speech given at BYU in January 1996, Professor C. Terry Warner connects Victor Frankl’s observations about love with the core message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Professor Warner teaches how we can each turn love into a power for good:

The Savior seems to say to us: “Come unto me, and I will give you such assurance and hope and strength that you cannot be taken hostage by anyone who seems to do you harm. I will liberate you into love. And then you will no longer give anyone cause to resent or fear you. Instead, they will respond to the love that I have bestowed upon you. By abiding in me, you will do much good, bear much fruit.”

How then shall we come unto Christ so that everything will be different from what it could possibly be otherwise?

By sacrificing all taking of offense. By giving up criticism, impatience, and contempt, for they accuse the sisters and brothers for whom Christ died. By forswearing vulgarity and pornography, which diminish both the user and the used. By putting aside, in short, every practice that bears the image of murder, obliteration of souls, discord, and death. By giving these practices their true name, violence, and abhorring even their first appearance. By renouncing war in every form and proclaiming peace (see D&C 98:16).”

As a missionary, you are far away from the comforts of home. But you can find a new home in the arms of God as you come unto Christ in your life! You can feel of His love for you. You can gain literal strength and power through this love, as did missionaries of long ago: “blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land,” (Alma 26:36).

So many people are “running on empty”. They are empty of love. It is our job, our responsibility and our privilege to help fill them with love. Life’s most important questions all have the same answer: LOVE.

Powered by love,

Pres. Murray

http://sicklethruster.blogspot.com/

Have a good Sunday dearies ❤

This is for someone in particular, because they were curious, but I’m a toad. I have issues still sharing my personal beliefs on an individual basis, I’ll get over it eventually. But I guess it’s for everyone else too.

Anyways, if you haven’t yet, go read ‘Sex God’ by Rob Bell. I know, sounds much worse than it actually is though. It’s more so about love and relationships and how you can find and learn about God through them, no matter what.

I think it was…yesterday. Absolutely crap day. Not only am I being a regular swirling tornado of emotions, with the end of the year fast approaching I’m freaking out. As well, I’m being a total girl and joining in with the angst of ‘Do not have boyfriend *whine whine whine*’ and some of my friends right now make me upset…Mainly cause I overthink, but meh.

Anywho, I had extra time, so I sat down to read. The chapter was called ‘She ran into the girl’s bathroom’ and was about how, by confronting people, you give them an awful big choice; ‘yes or no’. Basically, expressing your love in any form to others is the ultimate…I want to say ‘humbling experience’. Because you give them all the power. If they say yes and accept your love, however it may be, they have to leave all that they know and trust to try something completely unknown. Then Bell goes onto say something along the lines of  ‘Why is heartbreak universal? Because it’s something God feels’ and that when we were created, we were given the freedom of choice to love who we please. God loves us, but he is the one giving the invitation out, whether or not we say yes and accept it is up to us. And when we reject it, he knows heartache and pain too…And maybe he too stays up at night pondering how to convince us to love him back like he loves us. So he, like every one who’s ever loved, breaks out all manner of resourcefulness in His power (which would b a lot 😉 ). His problem however, is that He’s so great…He scares us…So he distills his love into one somewhat smaller being; Jesus.

So Jesus’ entire life is about love, not power, so he doesn’t appear intimidating, like God. Even though he is greater than all of us, he acts like one of the lowly citizens, to demonstrate His love. He never does anything to fight back, or exert power. He is always calm, forgiving and loving.

This is my favourite part: Jesus demonstrated strength by appearing weak. Strength is not the ability to one-up someone or beat them, it’s in the restraint of that natural response to exert the power we have. Jesus was the ultimate example. He could have wiped all those who mocked and tortured him from the face of the Earth, but He didn’t. Why? Because he was the one extending the invitation of love and everyone else were the ones with the power to reject of accept it. And instead of exerting his power to make them love and fear him, He just kept taking it, hoping they’d finally say yes.

“If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels.”

“…Where we find the strength to go on. Not a strength that comes from within ourselves but a strength that comes from God. The God who keeps going. Who keeps offering. Who keeps loving. Who keeps risking. A God who knows what it’s like.”

“If God can continue to risk, then maybe we can too. Perhaps you have had your heart broken by somebody. You risked and extended and offered yourself, and they rejected and turned away and didn’t return your love. There is something divine in your suffering. Somebody divine in your pain. You know how God feels…The danger is that you will decide it isn’t worth it. Why risk it if it’s going to hurt like this? The tragedy would be for you to shut down, to allow a wall to be built around your heart, and for something within you to die.”

I always hear ‘God is love’…This just gave it a ton of more meaning. And it made all my fears of losing friends after grad kind of dissipate.

All I can do is love them all as fiercely as I do. If they return that love and friendship; wonderful. It will make everything beautiful. If they don’t ; all I need to do is keep loving them, maybe one day they’ll come back. But if not, I know that I loved them as I should.

There is always that drive, that ‘stay-up-late-into-the-night-plotting’, trying to convince them to not only accept your love, but return it. The ‘what can I do to make you love me?’ The answer is nothing. Because by giving love, you give up all power to sway their opinion, you give all power to them. You are vulnerable,  but restraining that desire to force their love is the greatest strength. And even though stuff like this may be world-shatteringly difficult, God knows all about it.

I hope this made up for my lack of posts….Nighty night dearies <3.

Even though I can never tell if you’re laughing mockingly at me or actually LOL’ing, I think you’re pretty awesome, especially when you remember trivial things from days before, it means you actually listen to me when we talk :D. You have been added to the “Act like this to live righteously’ list, mainly because you pray fantastically.

You cook amazingly….Even if you like spinach a bit too much. And the fact that you use terms of endearment towards me, even before you hardly even knew me makes me feel special. You are also on the list and even on the ‘Act like her to be a fantastic Mormon woman’ list….So far, there’s only 3 on there including you, congrats! 😀